The holidays, as much as they are supposed to be about giving and opening your hearts, can be a very difficult time if you’re a couple that is having marital problems. If you’re marriage is falling apart adding a bunch of family to the mix can be like pouring gasoline on a fire and some of the fun traditions like decorating the house and putting up the tree can seem more like a trip to the dentist to have a tooth pulled.
The fact is, however, that holiday traditions are the very fabric that binds us together and reminds us that we’re not alone on this sometimes harsh planet we call home. If you and your spouse are having trouble but are committed to getting through your problems and making your marriage stronger a wonderful and powerful idea is to start some new traditions of your very own.
These can be very simple or very involved but the key is to do something that only the 2 of you do together. It doesn’t have to be just for Christmas or Hanukkah either but can be done for Thanksgiving, the 4th of July and even Groundhog Day if you so desire. Whatever day it is or whatever time of year these new traditions will be something that you can look forward to together, a special time or place or activity that only the 2 of you share.
For example going to a movie for New Year’s Eve could be your new tradition. Away from the crowds and the noise and the booze the 2 of you could snuggle together in a movie theatre and lose yourselves in whatever the newest flick is that year. Trust me you’ll probably have the entire theater to yourself.
Going away to a special place alone for a few days is a great tradition, especially if it’s a place you both love. The memories that you make every year and the knowledge that this time, this place, is ‘yours’ can be a very powerful way to repair any damage that was done during the year and shore up your marriage for the coming year.
It doesn’t matter what it is that you do or where you do it. What matters is that you build something together that, over time, brings you closer together. That’s really what a tradition is all about. Just as Thanksgiving brings all Americans together once a year to give thanks your new ‘couple traditions’ will remind you of what brought you together in the first place and give you a foundation that will stabilize your relationship as the years go by.